It happened four years ago when we were in school. Due to a teacher’s absence, we found ourselves with a free period, so my friends and I engaged in a random conversation about our future aspirations. I was taken aback by one friend’s response: she said, “I want to be a homemaker.” Yes, you heard it right. “That’s what she said.”

As a 17-year-old teenager, I was a bit confused by her answer. In an era where feminism is prevalent and independence is highly valued, her choice seemed unconventional. So, I asked her why, and in a weird tone, she smiled back and replied, “Because I didn’t grow up in a home; it was just a house made out of bricks. So, I want to make one for myself.” I didn’t quite understand, so she began to explain.

She said, “My dad and mom are both busy working professionals. They provide all the necessities for me and my brother except quality time and love. There are no special memories of them. I know they work hard for us, but we aren’t happy at all. So, I’ve decided that in the future, I want to be the nurturer, and my partner will be the provider and breadwinner. We’ll be a team and create a better home for ourselves.”

That moment made me realize that not everyone has the same problems, and therefore, not everyone deserves the same solution. I recalled another friend who said, “My dad leaves for work before I wake up and returns after I’ve gone to sleep. I only see my dad on Sundays when he has no appointments.” I think many families with workaholic parents and kids have similar family dynamics.

On the flip side, children in such families have a higher chance of making poor decisions. When this happens, society tends to blame the working mom. I know of an aunt who quit her job in a situation like this, and my own mom gave up her dreams to take care of us.

“In a partnership of equals, gender is not a determinant of roles or responsibilities.”

–unknown

Being a breadwinner or nurturer is not gender-defined; anyone can take on any role. In my opinion, assigning the entire financial burden to the man and expecting women to take care of the home are both wrong. In a family, husbands and wives should be a team, not a hierarchy.

Being a homemaker or a career woman or juggling both is her choice.

In life’s journey, let’s appreciate the different roads we take and the special roles we hold in our families. By breaking stereotypes and welcoming love and understanding, we can build homes where everyone discovers joy and satisfaction.

#BreakingFamilyStereotypes